It was wonderful to get your letter yesterday – actually on Saturday, but no one checked mail on Saturday, so we all got to enjoy your creations together.Your dad asked me about your example in your lesson – him giving up snack cakes and you following his example. He told me that he didn’t remember – but I am so glad that you did. It will be exciting to see, when we review our lives before the Lord, what happened in our lives. I think your dad will be pleased and surprised by all of the things that occurred but did not hold in his memory in this lifeI have been reminded again and again of an event that I am not sure how to describe. You and Lauren had missed two dental appointments and and we were sitting on my bed – the blankets and sheets piled up around us. The phone rang and when I answered, it was the dentist office – asking if I was going to bring you two in for the scheduled appointments. I was so broken at that moment that I couldn’t make myself get out of bed, out of the house, into the car, and drive you two to the dentist. This person who had called, told me that if I didn’t bring you in at that time, we would have to find another dentist. I am ashamed to say that I gave up and told her we would find another dentist.Those several occasions when I was too crumpled to take care of you, La and Nate pop into my head at odd moments and shake me to the core.When John was born, we got to be with you. You and Anton had asked for us to stay away for the first week so that the three of you could bond as a family. I got tickets for us to arrive 24 hours after Jon came. When we met you at the door, you and Anton were so desperate for sleep that you immediately handed over Jon – who had been crying nonstop We discovered that he needed to sleep on an incline, keeping his head above his stomach so that he could be comfortable while he digested his milk. Later, after you and Anton had begun to recover from sleep deprivation, I asked if you had taken a Sitz bath to soak your stitches and ease the swelling. You looked at me and told me that it had been days since you last showered! I have a photo of you holding John and Anton peeking over your shoulder. I am sure that he felt left out of all the attention given to a new baby and mom. While we were there, I went and got a juice machine and got oranges to make you fresh orange juice. I mixed that with bananas and strawberries to make a thick, calorie laden shake for you to drink. Both you and Anton kept forgetting to eat.After it was done, I brought a tall glass to you. As I was cleaning up and putting the remaining shake in the fridge, Anton asked quietly if he could try some. I am still upset with myself for leaving him out. You and Jon were my focus. There are countless times when I know I focused my preparations so narrowly that others were pushed out of my sight. I also remember that one of Anton’s family sent you two a box of See’s candy that I ate at least a third of (probably more) all by myself. I can’t remember that I’d made good on my promise to send a new box to replace it. The majority of my life memories are intertwined with those around me…parents, sisters, brothers, Brent, his family – especially you, La and Nate. Every time I recall something, the memory changes because now the memory also contains where and what I am doing at the momentStephanie Meyers, author of the Twilight series, wrote a book called “Host” before she got famous.In it, there are alien “presences” that are colonizing Earth by entering the minds of humans and taking over. The main character is able to keep her own personality spirit from being destroyed. The two spirits get to know each other through the events of the narrative. They learn to share the body and mind where they are. At the end of the novel, the humans find a way to pull the alien spirits out of the human minds—which kills them. When the main character comes to have her mind returned to her alone – she works with the scientist to provide a new place, a new mind where the alien consciousness can continue to dwell. Obviously I am hazy on the specifics but the important point the novel makes is that new experiences, new people, who do come to live—do change us. We can choose to shut the opposition our minds encounters or we can welcome them and learn from them. Long letter. You are one of those voices in my head. Thank you. Love mom
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